EAVESDROPPING at the OUTSKIRTS OF EXCESS: POP HAZMAT presents “CAPTURED MOMENTS” by JONATHAN KIERAN
“What’s this I hear? You say that some illiterate troll referred to Lady Mary as a ‘stupid f*%king heffa’ in the comments section of an online article? For no reason whatsoever? Why, the solution is quite simple, my dear. Hack into the system, trace this individual’s IP address, find out where they live and have them killed. It can all be managed before dinner. Trust Granny, the world will appreciate the added breathing space. Now, kindly tell Carson to send ’round for my car. We have work to do.”
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If you’re bored and don’t have any Japanese eyeballs to lick, hop on over to Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a Like!
Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, Friends, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …
Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.
Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)
Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.
Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.
Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
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Rowan Blaize Official Website
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Jonathan Kieran 
and if you want the version that pops into the mind of every German of a certain age, for the penultimate sentence : “Harry, fahr den Wagen vor” ( btw it has nothing to do with Harry Potter, but rather with Derrik.