Pop HazMat Captured Moments by Jonathan Kieran Satire

If Jessica Lange sold The End of the World door-to-door. #comfortingthoughts

POP HAZMAT “CAPTURED MOMENTS” presents EAVESDROPPING at the OUTSKIRTS of EXCESS by JONATHAN KIERAN

"Oh, no, honey ... I'm not the Avon Lady or a census-taker or even one of those darling little Jehovah's Witnesses everybody tries to hide from. Those people only knock at the door on one of your good days, honey. I'm actually here to inform you that you are the lucky winner of a lifetime subscription to the Apocalypse with a few coupons for early-bird AntiChrist dinners included. By the way, you are going to be the dinner. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that this is not  one of your good days, honey. Not by a Mississippi mile."
“Oh, no, honey. I’m not the Avon Lady or a census-taker or even one of those darling little Jehovah’s Witnesses everybody tries to hide from. See, those people only knock at the door on one of your good days. I’m actually here to inform you that you are the lucky winner of a lifetime subscription to the Apocalypse … with a few coupons for early-bird AntiChrist dinners thrown-in as a token of our esteem. By the way, you are going to be the dinner. I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that this is not one of your good days, honey. No way. Not by a Mississippi mile.”

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While Jonathan works to complete his new novel (slated for release in Spring 2014) blogging will be swift, light, fun and generally of the “drive-by captioning” variety. Meanwhile, if you’re bored and don’t have any Japanese eyeballs to lick, hop on over to Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a Like!

Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization, Friends, if only for a few hours. A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the Rowan Blaize series of books. Click on the book covers to the right or have a look below …

Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE.

Book One = The magical cornerstone – a lavishly illustrated epic narrative poem … a genuine “spell” for the young and young-at-heart to treasure for a lifetime, telling the story of sorcerer Rowan Blaize’s battle to regain his magic powers. (Think Beowulf-meets-Dr.Seuss or an epic story-in-verse of a scope similar to Tolkien’s soon-to-be-released The Fall of Arthur, only contemporary.)

Book Two = The rip-roaring novel that continues the adventures of Rowan Blaize and introduces the three hilarious witches of the Ancient City, along with its dysfunctional werewolves, wraiths, ghosts, vampires, dryads, banshees and a beauty pageant brat that just might destroy the world.

Book Three = The next novel that finds Rowan trapped by a spell in another world, caught between a faery-squashing sorceress who’ll stop at nothing to conquer the kingdom … and a feisty teenage prince who’s determined to get it back.

Click here to purchase the Kindle e-books and watch a video of Jonathan discussing his work.
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Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Books-A-Million
Rowan Blaize Official Website
Goodreads

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