Author: Jonathan Kieran
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It could be worse. I hear Aquaman is selling #timeshares.
EAVESDROPPING at the OUTSKIRTS of EXCESS: POP HAZMAT presents “CAPTURED MOMENTS” by JONATHAN KIERAN ______________________ If you’re bored and don’t have any Japanese eyeballs to lick, hop on over to Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a Like!…
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“Really, what’s a little exsanguination among sisters, I ask you?” #LadyGrantham
EAVESDROPPING at the EDGE of ETERNITY: POP HAZMAT “CAPTURED MOMENTS” by JONATHAN KIERAN ___________ If you’re bored and don’t have any Japanese eyeballs to lick, hop on over to Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a Like! Escape…
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For everyone’s sake, enjoy your penguins in #moderation.
POP HAZMAT CAPTURED MOMENTS posted by JONATHAN KIERAN _______________ If you’re bored and don’t have any Japanese eyeballs to lick, hop on over to Jonathan Kieran’s Official Facebook Page and give it a Like! Escape the Imminent Collapse of Civilization,…
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Devotion crosses centuries for eager Egyptian statue. #badtasteistimeless
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Ancient Egyptian Statue Moves By Itself In Museum Case: Curators Stumped! by JONATHAN KIERAN RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Curators of the Manchester Museum in England are flabbergasted by the way an ancient Egyptian statue appears to be…
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Ever had a bone to pick with the whole #onlinedating thing? You’re not alone.
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Iowa Man Attempts to Sell Antique Coffin on Craigslist — Complete with Skeleton! posted by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9. Rumors are circulating that this strange transaction was originally written as a MISC ROMANCE…
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The things a star will do when denture ads just won’t pay the rent! #nostalgia
POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CAMPY CARTOON VILLAIN-OF-THE-WEEK by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: “Benita Bizarre” (The Bugaloos, 1970-1971, NBC) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Martha Raye RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Denture commercials were clearly not paying enough cold hard $$$ to keep an aging…
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When Space Oddities Attack: #Hubble Telescope sees ALL
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Hubble Space Telescope Picks Up Giant Space Penguin (And Other Galactic Anomalies) by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 10 (Surely this Giant Space Penguin is yet another astrological sign of the Coming Chastisement of Creation…
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“Your mother was a Japanese bathhouse witch!” #notaninsult #animatedmovies
POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CAMPY CARTOON VILLAIN-OF-THE-WEEK by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S HONOREE: “Yubaba” (Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away, 2001 Studio Ghibli) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: “Yubaba” is the name-stealing, scene-stealing, chain-smoking witch who oversees a bathhouse for Japanese spirits and other magical entities in…
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Don’t worry, fellow #doglovers: Doris Day & Betty White have been alerted and they are ON IT!
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Activists Target Dog-Meat Festival in China by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 10 (Can’t the Chinese just go back to eating rodents, like normal people? Can’t they lick each other’s eyeballs and call it a…
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Mexican Volcano Erupts in Reaction to #Kim-K Spawn (Oh, Don’t Look So Surprised.)
HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Mexico’s Popocatepetl Volcano Spews Ash 3 Miles High. Scientists Point to Arrival of latest Kardashian Spawn. CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 10 (Oh, don’t look so surprised. You knew this going to be the Beginning of The End)…
Jonathan Kieran 