Author: Jonathan Kieran
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Gael Garcia Bernal’s people need to call my people. Dude, there’s an Oscar on the line. #keepdreaming
~The World of Rowan Blaize: Character Profiles~ The realm of ancient sorcerer Rowan Blaize is one in which otherwise hidden worlds collide with (or dwell alongside) our own mortal sphere. Rowan’s existence is played-out across landscapes and dreamscapes that encompass…
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When it came to rotting teeth in the ’80s, Sugar Bear left no child behind! #nostalgia #kidkibble
POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CLASSIC KID KIBBLE of YESTERYEAR! by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S HONOREE: SUGAR CRISP (Post Cereals 1949-2013) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Sugar Crisp was a cereal of sugar-saturated puffed wheat-pellets introduced by Post Cereals in 1949 to the future enrichment and…
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Look skinny in your coffin with Seattle quack’s new “Air, Water & Sunlight” Diet! #satire #headlines
HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Look Skinny in Your Coffin with Seattle Quack’s Hot New “Air, Water & Sunlight” Diet! CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9 (Today’s Emergency-Level CTQ has been assigned due to the obviously pervasive and bereft state of spiritual fulfillment…
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Godzilla Vs. The Ghoul-Doxies of Planet Trollop. #moviesiwanttosee #kardashians #satire
JONATHAN KIERAN presents MONSTER MOVIES I’LL PAY TO SEE TODAY’S FEATURE: Godzilla Vs. The Ghoul-Doxies from Planet Trollop (2014 — Script Allegedly “In Development”) STARRING: Godzilla (as Himself) Kim Kardashian (as “Festerinka”) Kris Kardashian (as “Pimpesta”) Khloe Kardashian (as “Valtrexia”)…
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No Kidding: Amputees Brawl at Charity Soccer Match. (Organizers Stumped) #popculture #headlines
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Amputees Brawl at Charity Soccer Match. Organizers Stumped. CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: I’m going to go out on a limb, here, and assign a CTQ of 9 to this disgraceful behavior. It was supposed to be…
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Remember Boo Berry Crunch cereal? Sugar-coated necromancy in a box. #popculture #nostalgia #drunkmoms
POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CLASSIC KID-KIBBLE from YESTERYEAR by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: BOO BERRY CRUNCH CEREAL (General Mills) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: As one of a trilogy of “monster-themed” cereals introduced by General Mills in the mid-1970s (along with Frankenberry and…
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Drama Skills: The “great ones” in Hollywood never lose them. #piazadora #popculture #mugshots
POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents AMERICAN CELEBRITY HOUSE OF HORRORS by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S FORTUNATE HONOREE: PIA ZADORA PEDESTAL-WORTHY LEGACY: (FILM) Voyage of the Rock Aliens, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Naked Gun 33 ½: The Final Insult (MUSIC) “When the Rain…
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Pop HazMat: Don’t pet the beaver if it’s not in the mood. #headlines #lifelessons #wildlife
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Beaver Eagerly Kills Fisherman in Belarus posted by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9 (This tragic event is certain to scar the minds of youngsters who envision beavers to be loving, gentle creatures always willing…
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Pop HazMat: Someone’s in the kitchen with Dyna-Girl. #popculture #nostalgia
HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME presents CHILDREN’S TV ON-THE-CHEAP! by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: Electra Woman and Dyna-Girl (1976. 16 Episodes. ABC) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Sid and Marty Krofft (as usual), Deidre Hall, Judy Strangis, ABC RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: From…
Jonathan Kieran 