Author: Jonathan Kieran
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No Amount of #HocusPocus Can Save Bad Movies from Themselves. We Love ‘Em, Anyhow …
POP HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME presents LOVABLY ROTTEN FANTASY MOVIES TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: HOCUS POCUS (Walt Disney Pictures, 1993) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy, all Producers, Directors, Writers RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: This movie appears to…
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Here’s to the Dads who taught us to breathe radioactive flame & destroy our enemies! #fathersday
POP HAZMAT HOLIDAY EDITION presents FATHER of the MILLENNIUM (Monster Edition) by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S HONOREE: Godzilla, Patient Father of Irritating Shame-Child, Minilla PRIME EVIDENCE OF FANTASTIC FATHERLY SKILLS: Son of Godzilla (1967, Toho Studios) Godzilla’s Revenge (1971) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS:…
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And you think YOUR kids are bored? They’re licking #eyeballs in Japan. #headlines
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Eyeball-Licking Fad Latest Proof of Japanese Insanity by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9 (Not quite as twisted as Howl’s Moving Castle … worse than seppuku) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: I’m going to be brutally honest, here.…
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Have you witnessed a Crime against Beauty? Don’t hesitate to call 911. #headlines #satire
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: British Man Calls Police to Complain About Ugly ‘Lady of the Evening’ CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 0 (All citizens should be as well-informed about their rights as this Birmingham gentleman when it comes to the scourge…
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Pope mentions “Gay Lobby” in Vatican. Says: “Sure. It’s right next to our Mixed-Marriage Mezzanine.” #satire
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Pope Admits Existence of “Gay Lobby” in Vatican. posted by JONATHAN KIERAN (by way of NPR) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: This bodes well for a “Twihard Café” next to the Sistine Chapel in the near future. EXISTENTIAL…
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Who says workplace naps won’t keep the $$$ in circulation? Job-Snoozing is THE LOOK. #headlines
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: German Bank Employee Falls Asleep on Keyboard, Accidentally Transfers Millions CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 0 (Naps are the ANSWER to cultural disintegration across the globe! Join the happy crusade!) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: A few weeks back, I…
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Some kids are raised by wolves. I was raised by 2 swingin’ hippy-chicks & a pink squirrel. #iturnedoutokay
POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CLASSIC CHILDREN’S TV ON-THE-CHEAP!by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S HONOREE: The Magic Garden (WPIX-TV 1972-1984) RESPONSIBLE FOR THE GREATNESS: Carole Demas and Paula Janis RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Think Joan Baez and Judy Collins abandoning Woodstock glory, passionate ’60s activism and…
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Gael Garcia Bernal’s people need to call my people. Dude, there’s an Oscar on the line. #keepdreaming
~The World of Rowan Blaize: Character Profiles~ The realm of ancient sorcerer Rowan Blaize is one in which otherwise hidden worlds collide with (or dwell alongside) our own mortal sphere. Rowan’s existence is played-out across landscapes and dreamscapes that encompass…
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When it came to rotting teeth in the ’80s, Sugar Bear left no child behind! #nostalgia #kidkibble
POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CLASSIC KID KIBBLE of YESTERYEAR! by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S HONOREE: SUGAR CRISP (Post Cereals 1949-2013) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Sugar Crisp was a cereal of sugar-saturated puffed wheat-pellets introduced by Post Cereals in 1949 to the future enrichment and…
Jonathan Kieran 