Tag: blogs

Wistwood Featured by Duffy the Writer

An article I wrote detailing the impetus behind writing Wistwood, as well as delineating some of the novel’s primary themes, has been published on the outstanding Australian blog, Duffy the Writer. Within the context of the piece I also reference a few of my own literary influences and ponder the timing of Wistwood’s release amid the unexpected onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. Invisible horrors, … Read More Wistwood Featured by Duffy the Writer

Pop HazMat HOF: Lovably Bad Candy from Childhood … Licorice Laces! posted by JONATHAN KIERAN

A sweeping modern fairy-tale is born with the adventures of Rowan Blaize. Book One is the timeless magical cornerstone … the subsequent books lift our warlock’s world into the framework of several spellbinding novels. Click here for all of the special $0.99 Kindle e-book downloads! HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FOOD FROM CHILDHOOD) by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: SHOESTRING LICORICE! or “LICORICE … Read More Pop HazMat HOF: Lovably Bad Candy from Childhood … Licorice Laces! posted by JONATHAN KIERAN

HAZMAT-RETRO SATIRE: Questionable Toys for Tots (The Pole-Dance Doll)

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME (QUESTIONABLE TOYS FOR TOTS) posted by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: The Pole-Dance Doll! by Whizmodo RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Yes, this doll was ACTUALLY manufactured and tainting toy-store shelves a few years ago, inching the world ever closer to a direct-hit by an asteroid or a galloping visit from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. This is why minds like mine … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO SATIRE: Questionable Toys for Tots (The Pole-Dance Doll)

HazMat Headline Du Jour: Former Vogue Editor Reveals Models Are Eating Tissues to Stay Thin in Tell-All Book

HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Former Vogue Editor Reveals Models Are Eating Tissues to Stay Thin in Tell-All Book posted by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 5.5 (Typical) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: At least they aren’t licking felines and swallowing cat hair to maintain that coveted skeletal look. Recent scientific studies do indeed confirm that Kleenex has twelve percent more nutritional value than cat hair. Models have … Read More HazMat Headline Du Jour: Former Vogue Editor Reveals Models Are Eating Tissues to Stay Thin in Tell-All Book

HAZMAT-RETRO HOF: CHILDREN’S TV ON-THE-CHEAP! Paulus the Woodgnome (1967-1968)

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF FAME: CHILDREN’S TV ON-THE-CHEAP! TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: Paulus the Woodgnome (1967-1968) Dutch name: Paulus de boskabouter. GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Jan van Oort, the creator of Paulus the Woodgnome and all puppets and sets used in each gripping 10-minute episode of the late-1960s show. The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC). Julian Bulieau and other “writers and manipulators.” RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: When I was … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HOF: CHILDREN’S TV ON-THE-CHEAP! Paulus the Woodgnome (1967-1968)

HAZMAT-RETRO Hall of LAME: The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD TV) posted by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Director Steve Binder, CBS and every single participant … from Harrison Ford on down to the inexplicably cast Nightmare from Hell that is Bea Arthur. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: This bizarre attempt by CBS to cash-in on the Star Wars phenomenon by … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO Hall of LAME: The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

Songs That Made Childhood Magical: “7” by the Alligator King #sesamestreet

Okay, so No. 9 in the “Ten Best Meals I Ever Ate” List is not going to appear today. I’m on the fourth day of a complete fast/cleanse, i.e. no solid food and only lemon-water, honey and cayenne pepper to sustain me. Thus, my long and illustrious history of gastronomic adventure is the last thing I want to expound-upon, at the moment. Instead, we’ll … Read More Songs That Made Childhood Magical: “7” by the Alligator King #sesamestreet

HazMat HOF Women We Need to See More Often: Juliette Binoche

Best Meal I Ever Ate No. 9 coming tomorrow. Meanwhile, my mind is on chocolate. More particularly, my mind is on Chocolat … HAZMAT HALL OF FAME (WOMEN WE NEED TO SEE MORE OFTEN) TODAY’S FORTUNATE HONOREE: JULIETTE BINOCHE PEDESTAL-WORTHY LEGACY: The English Patient (as “Hana”) 1996 and Chocolat (as “Vianne”) 2000, etc. GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: The British gave her a bit of … Read More HazMat HOF Women We Need to See More Often: Juliette Binoche

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FANTASY CINEMA): Trolling for Ideas, Were We?

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FANTASY CINEMA) by Jonathan Kieran TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: TROLL (1986) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Noah Hathaway as “Harry Potter Jr.”; Michael Moriarty as “Harry Potter Sr.”; Julia Louis-Dreyfus as “Jeanette”; Sonny Bono as “Peter”; Shelley Hack as “Anne”; June Lockhart as “Elaine St. Claire”; Phil Fondocaro as “Malcolm Mallory” and “Torok” (titular troll). RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Whoah, is this … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD FANTASY CINEMA): Trolling for Ideas, Were We?

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD MUSIC): WORK that Monkey-Coat Right ‘Round!

HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD MUSIC) TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: “You Spin Me (Like A Record)” by Dead or Alive (1985) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Lead singer Pete Burns for imitating Boy George imitating a rabid chicken imitating a goat being skewered alive up the wazoo with a rotisserie-spit. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: One of the most egregiously nauseating sonic pop-disturbances ever to assault human eardrums … Read More HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME (LOVABLY BAD MUSIC): WORK that Monkey-Coat Right ‘Round!

HazMat Headline Du Jour: Are Those Kidneys Sustainable? by Jonathan Kieran

HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Science Fiction Comes Alive as Researchers Grow Organs in Lab CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9.5 (Catastrophic) There is every likelihood that, given current trends in abhorrent human behavior, human organs could soon be grown and packaged as popular snacks and “What’s for dinner tonight?” solutions, rather than for medical purposes. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Scientists are using industrial detergents to basically frazzle-fry parts … Read More HazMat Headline Du Jour: Are Those Kidneys Sustainable? by Jonathan Kieran