Category: Satire
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Ever had a bone to pick with the whole #onlinedating thing? You’re not alone.
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Iowa Man Attempts to Sell Antique Coffin on Craigslist — Complete with Skeleton! posted by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9. Rumors are circulating that this strange transaction was originally written as a MISC ROMANCE…
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The things a star will do when denture ads just won’t pay the rent! #nostalgia
POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CAMPY CARTOON VILLAIN-OF-THE-WEEK by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: “Benita Bizarre” (The Bugaloos, 1970-1971, NBC) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Martha Raye RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Denture commercials were clearly not paying enough cold hard $$$ to keep an aging…
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When Space Oddities Attack: #Hubble Telescope sees ALL
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Hubble Space Telescope Picks Up Giant Space Penguin (And Other Galactic Anomalies) by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 10 (Surely this Giant Space Penguin is yet another astrological sign of the Coming Chastisement of Creation…
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Don’t worry, fellow #doglovers: Doris Day & Betty White have been alerted and they are ON IT!
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Activists Target Dog-Meat Festival in China by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 10 (Can’t the Chinese just go back to eating rodents, like normal people? Can’t they lick each other’s eyeballs and call it a…
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Mexican Volcano Erupts in Reaction to #Kim-K Spawn (Oh, Don’t Look So Surprised.)
HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Mexico’s Popocatepetl Volcano Spews Ash 3 Miles High. Scientists Point to Arrival of latest Kardashian Spawn. CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 10 (Oh, don’t look so surprised. You knew this going to be the Beginning of The End)…
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No Amount of #HocusPocus Can Save Bad Movies from Themselves. We Love ‘Em, Anyhow …
POP HAZMAT-RETRO HALL OF LAME presents LOVABLY ROTTEN FANTASY MOVIES TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: HOCUS POCUS (Walt Disney Pictures, 1993) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy, all Producers, Directors, Writers RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: This movie appears to…
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Here’s to the Dads who taught us to breathe radioactive flame & destroy our enemies! #fathersday
POP HAZMAT HOLIDAY EDITION presents FATHER of the MILLENNIUM (Monster Edition) by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S HONOREE: Godzilla, Patient Father of Irritating Shame-Child, Minilla PRIME EVIDENCE OF FANTASTIC FATHERLY SKILLS: Son of Godzilla (1967, Toho Studios) Godzilla’s Revenge (1971) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS:…
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And you think YOUR kids are bored? They’re licking #eyeballs in Japan. #headlines
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Eyeball-Licking Fad Latest Proof of Japanese Insanity by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9 (Not quite as twisted as Howl’s Moving Castle … worse than seppuku) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: I’m going to be brutally honest, here.…
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Have you witnessed a Crime against Beauty? Don’t hesitate to call 911. #headlines #satire
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: British Man Calls Police to Complain About Ugly ‘Lady of the Evening’ CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 0 (All citizens should be as well-informed about their rights as this Birmingham gentleman when it comes to the scourge…
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Pope mentions “Gay Lobby” in Vatican. Says: “Sure. It’s right next to our Mixed-Marriage Mezzanine.” #satire
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Pope Admits Existence of “Gay Lobby” in Vatican. posted by JONATHAN KIERAN (by way of NPR) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: This bodes well for a “Twihard Café” next to the Sistine Chapel in the near future. EXISTENTIAL…
Jonathan Kieran 