Category: Satire

Pop HazMat: Don’t pet the beaver if it’s not in the mood. #headlines #lifelessons #wildlife

POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Beaver Eagerly Kills Fisherman in Belarus posted by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9 (This tragic event is certain to scar the minds of youngsters who envision beavers to be loving, gentle creatures always willing to share a comforting pot of tea with strangers and help British children plot the downfall of frigid witches hell-bent on preventing magical lions … Read More Pop HazMat: Don’t pet the beaver if it’s not in the mood. #headlines #lifelessons #wildlife

Elmo: Harmless hyperactive puppet or Spawn of Satan? #popculture #pophazmat #satire

POP HAZMAT presents THE MOST ANNOYING CHARACTERS IN THE HISTORY OF KIDS’ TV! by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: “ELMO” from Sesame Street GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: Puppeteer Kevin Clash and the entirety of Sesame Street’s secret cabal of Satan-worshippers. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: Elmo is a tatty little Sesame Street monster with fur that is roughly the color and texture of Lucifer’s toilet-seat cover in … Read More Elmo: Harmless hyperactive puppet or Spawn of Satan? #popculture #pophazmat #satire

He-Man & She-Ra: Proudly fostering body dysmorphic disorders since 1983!

POP HAZMAT RETRO HALL OF FAME presents Wonderfully Warped Children’s Television!by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: He-Man (1983-1985) and She-Ra (1985-1986) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: He-Man, She-Ra, Skeletor, Battle Cat, Teela and all the elves working Mattel’s Everlasting Assembly-line of Dysfunctional Dreams. RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: If you were a trendy child growing-up in the 1980s and early 1990s, there’s little chance you escaped the pop-culture … Read More He-Man & She-Ra: Proudly fostering body dysmorphic disorders since 1983!

Ohio “kidnap hero” DOESN’T want burgers for life. Aorta breathes sigh of relief. #popculture

GOODREADS MEMBERS Click Here for a Chance to Win a Giveaway Copy of Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy by Jonathan Kieran. The Contest runs until June 10! Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE. ________________________ HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Ohio Kidnap Hero DOESN’T Want Burgers for Life posted by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 3 (Quotient could increase if he is … Read More Ohio “kidnap hero” DOESN’T want burgers for life. Aorta breathes sigh of relief. #popculture

POP HAZMAT HEADLINE du JOUR: “TAN MOM” Releases Music Video. Asteroid Approaches Earth in Nick of Time.

GOODREADS MEMBERS Click Here for a Chance to Win a Giveaway Copy of Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy by Jonathan Kieran. The Contest runs until June 10! Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE. ______________________________ HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: “TAN MOM” Releases Music Video. Asteroid Approaches Earth in Nick of Time. Posted by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: NOT EVEN QUANTIFIABLE … Read More POP HAZMAT HEADLINE du JOUR: “TAN MOM” Releases Music Video. Asteroid Approaches Earth in Nick of Time.