Category: Satire
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Who says workplace naps won’t keep the $$$ in circulation? Job-Snoozing is THE LOOK. #headlines
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: German Bank Employee Falls Asleep on Keyboard, Accidentally Transfers Millions CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 0 (Naps are the ANSWER to cultural disintegration across the globe! Join the happy crusade!) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: A few weeks back, I…
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Look skinny in your coffin with Seattle quack’s new “Air, Water & Sunlight” Diet! #satire #headlines
HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Look Skinny in Your Coffin with Seattle Quack’s Hot New “Air, Water & Sunlight” Diet! CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9 (Today’s Emergency-Level CTQ has been assigned due to the obviously pervasive and bereft state of spiritual fulfillment…
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Godzilla Vs. The Ghoul-Doxies of Planet Trollop. #moviesiwanttosee #kardashians #satire
JONATHAN KIERAN presents MONSTER MOVIES I’LL PAY TO SEE TODAY’S FEATURE: Godzilla Vs. The Ghoul-Doxies from Planet Trollop (2014 — Script Allegedly “In Development”) STARRING: Godzilla (as Himself) Kim Kardashian (as “Festerinka”) Kris Kardashian (as “Pimpesta”) Khloe Kardashian (as “Valtrexia”)…
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No Kidding: Amputees Brawl at Charity Soccer Match. (Organizers Stumped) #popculture #headlines
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Amputees Brawl at Charity Soccer Match. Organizers Stumped. CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: I’m going to go out on a limb, here, and assign a CTQ of 9 to this disgraceful behavior. It was supposed to be…
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Remember Boo Berry Crunch cereal? Sugar-coated necromancy in a box. #popculture #nostalgia #drunkmoms
POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents CLASSIC KID-KIBBLE from YESTERYEAR by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: BOO BERRY CRUNCH CEREAL (General Mills) RUDIMENTARY ANALYSIS: As one of a trilogy of “monster-themed” cereals introduced by General Mills in the mid-1970s (along with Frankenberry and…
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Drama Skills: The “great ones” in Hollywood never lose them. #piazadora #popculture #mugshots
POP HAZMAT-RETRO presents AMERICAN CELEBRITY HOUSE OF HORRORS by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S FORTUNATE HONOREE: PIA ZADORA PEDESTAL-WORTHY LEGACY: (FILM) Voyage of the Rock Aliens, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Naked Gun 33 ½: The Final Insult (MUSIC) “When the Rain…
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Pop HazMat: Don’t pet the beaver if it’s not in the mood. #headlines #lifelessons #wildlife
POP HAZMAT HEADLINE DU JOUR: Beaver Eagerly Kills Fisherman in Belarus posted by JONATHAN KIERAN CULTURAL TOXICITY QUOTIENT: 9 (This tragic event is certain to scar the minds of youngsters who envision beavers to be loving, gentle creatures always willing…
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He-Man & She-Ra: Proudly fostering body dysmorphic disorders since 1983!
POP HAZMAT RETRO HALL OF FAME presents Wonderfully Warped Children’s Television!by JONATHAN KIERAN TODAY’S DUBIOUS HONOREE: He-Man (1983-1985) and She-Ra (1985-1986) GUILTY OF VEHICULAR FANSLAUGHTER: He-Man, She-Ra, Skeletor, Battle Cat, Teela and all the elves working Mattel’s Everlasting Assembly-line of…
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Ohio “kidnap hero” DOESN’T want burgers for life. Aorta breathes sigh of relief. #popculture
GOODREADS MEMBERS Click Here for a Chance to Win a Giveaway Copy of Rowan Blaize and the Hand of Djin Rummy by Jonathan Kieran. The Contest runs until June 10! Watch the Rowan Blaize Book Trailer HERE. ________________________ HAZMAT HEADLINE…
Jonathan Kieran 